My Lens, My Life

Blog is now at...

2011-01-27T10:32:00.001-08:00

http://michelleyapphotography.com

Etsy shops:

http://michelleyap.etsy.com

http://boygeorgina.etsy.com

I've made my final decision...

2009-08-04T19:55:00.000-07:00

Note to the 2 people who [might] check this thing: I'm going to blog at http://yapsolutely.net from now on, though I'll still have this page up for kicks...

Yapsolutely check it out! :)

Check out the site I'm building!

2009-07-31T19:06:00.000-07:00

http://yapsolutely.net

I might just blog from there now...I haven't made the final decision yet. :P

A few Leica R4 images - I finally finished/developed the roll that was sitting in the camera for 3 years...

2009-07-28T21:18:00.000-07:00

The new lens is coming next week!

2009-07-19T22:41:00.001-07:00

YAAAAAAAAAAAYYY!!!!!!!!! :)

My latest photo-related [impulse] purchases.

2009-07-09T21:12:00.000-07:00

Canon lens: 50mm f1.8

I've been wanting to buy this for awhile now...Too bad the place I ordered it from is now telling me that it's back-ordered! I'm growing impatient...GRR.

5 rolls of 120 film

I wasted the first roll I ever shot because I didn't properly unload the film (FAIL), and a bunch of shots didn't turn out on the 2nd roll. I'm hoping one of these five rolls will be a success.

Disposable Kodak waterproof camera

I have to document my kayaking adventure this weekend! I'm a newbie, so wish me luck!

2 facts.

2009-07-08T23:19:00.000-07:00

FACT #1: What I'm doing right now is not what I'll be doing for the rest of my life...or even for the next 2 years.

FACT #2: This kept me smiling today.

I heart bright colors.

2009-07-03T20:54:00.000-07:00

My new favorite thing: MAC's Girl About Town lipstick.

Too. Much. Dialogue.

2009-07-01T20:53:00.000-07:00

I need more silence in my life.

Some Diana Cam images

2009-06-24T21:24:00.000-07:00

A lot more experimentation is needed...

Surfing Journey

2009-06-23T22:42:00.000-07:00

Sunday kicked off the beginning of my surfing journey.

Inspired by my need to detach from the routine that has become my Monday thru Friday, I spent my paycheck on a surfboard and wetsuit over the weekend. It has always been in the back of my mind to learn how to surf and I actually took a lesson last year, but I never followed through with it. Now I'm really ready to commit to this new adventure.

I expect to get extremely discouraged and beaten up in the beginning (I already have haha), but I know that when I finally catch my first wave in a few weeks/months, the positivity from it will outweigh all my prior frustrations. I can't wait :) .

My first surfing "trophies":

Sometimes you just need to read some wise words to feel better.

2009-06-11T22:00:00.000-07:00

Life is an opportunity, benefit from it.

Life is beauty, admire it.

Life is bliss, taste it.

Life is a dream, realize it.

Life is a challenge, meet it.

Life is a duty, complete it.

Life is a game, play it.

Life is a promise, fulfill it.

Life is sorrow, overcome it.

Life is a song, sing it.

Life is a struggle, accept it.

Life is a tragedy, confront it.

Life is an adventure, dare it.

Life is luck, make it.

Life is too precious, do not destroy it.

Life is life, fight for it.

- Mother Teresa

I was told, "Work is becoming your life!"

2009-06-10T21:40:00.000-07:00

I must rectify this situation immediately. :/

My next destination will be...

2009-05-29T20:31:00.000-07:00

NEW ZEALAND.

North Island or South Island?

Hmm...

So...I didn't take many photos in Cabo because I just relaxed the whole time...

2009-05-25T22:08:00.000-07:00

But here are a few shots:

Off to Cabo I go!

2009-05-19T23:09:00.000-07:00

Be back in a few days, with a bunch of images! I'm bringing 3 cameras, so there should be at least ONE decent shot. :)

Volunteer Vacations: 2nd half

2009-05-17T22:06:00.000-07:00

I finished reading through the book, and 16 programs from the 2nd half of the book caught my eye:

Habitat for Humanity International's Global Village Work Teams

Hands Up Holidays

International Cultural Adventures (ICA)

i-to-i Meaningful Travel

Peace Villages Foundation

Peacework

Projects Abroad

Tethys Research Institute

Transformation Journeys

Travellers Worldwide

United Planet

Women in Progress (WIP)

I'll do some more research and narrow down the options...That's all for now! :)

Volunteer Vacations: 1st half

2009-05-11T23:51:00.000-07:00

I've gone through the first half of the book, Volunteer Vacations, and I've narrowed down the choices to 15 organizations...for now. All the programs sound like they would offer truly amazing experiences, but I'm trying to focus on the ones with more projects specific to youth/orphanages.

Here are the ones that caught my eye so far:

African Impact

Ambassadors for Children (AFC)

Amizade Global Service-Learning

Association of International Development and Exchange (AIDE)

Aviva

Bangladesh Work Camps Association (BWCA)
Concordia International Volunteers

Cross-Cultural Solutions (CCS)

Galapagos ICE: Immerse Connect Evolve

Global Crossroad

Global Humanitarian Expeditions (GHE)

Global Volunteer Network (GVN)

Global Volunteers

Globe Aware

Go Differently

I'll go through the rest of the book in the next few days, do some more research, and then I'll have to narrow down the organizations again! My current goal is volunteer in December...I really hope it works out.

Thanks for everything, M♥M.

2009-05-10T11:48:00.000-07:00

Happy M☺ther's Day!

Paper Heart

2009-05-03T10:53:00.000-07:00

I can't wait to see this. ♥

Voluntourism.

2009-05-01T23:03:00.000-07:00

This evening, I bought VOLUNTEER VACATIONS: SHORT-TERM ADVENTURES THAT WILL BENEFIT YOU AND OTHERS. Volunteering abroad has always been something I wanted to do, and lately it has been on my mind a lot. I really want to go on an international adventure in December, so why not help people while I'm at it?

This book has different indexes so you can look for projects based on project cost, length, location, season, and type. I'm really looking forward to doing research on the different organizations, and gradually narrowing down my options. I would like to work with kids, possibly at an orphanage, so I guess that's a good starting point.

If I were a photo mosaic, this is what I'd look like...

2009-05-01T10:21:00.000-07:00

1. Michelle 2. Sushi 3. Turquoise 4. Shirley Temple 5. Micronesia 6. Taking photos 7. Professional Traveler 8. Laughing 9. Silly

To make your own mosaic:

Rules:

a. Type your answer to each of the questions below into Flickr Search (http://www.flickr.com/).

b. Using ONLY the first page, pick an image.

c. Copy and paste each of the URLs for the images into Mosaic Maker. Change rows to 3 and columns to 3 (http://bighugelabs.com/flickr/mosaic.php).

The Questions:

1. What is your first name?

2. What is your favorite food?

3. What is your favorite color?

4. Favorite drink?

5. Dream vacation?

6. Favorite hobby?

7. What you want to be when you grow up?

8. What do you love most in life?

9. One word to describe you?

The original photos: 1. Ella Michelle, 2. "What? Sushi? What is it?", 3. The arrival of a rainstorm, 4. Shirley Temple, 5. jellies, 6. Double A trees, 7. Professional traveler, 8. Prepared for Takeoff!, 9. 41 • 365 :: Ministry of Silly Walks

I stumbled upon "NEED MAGAZINE" today.

2009-04-26T23:29:00.000-07:00

Please check it out:

Time to "clean out those psychological cupboards."

2009-04-18T22:27:00.000-07:00

I realized I've been losing myself in the comfort of my daily routine, and need to recapture my goals and passions that have been put on the back burner for far too long. Some things have been getting in the way of my "real" life, but I'm determined to make time for the things I care about. I've been so caught up in what I think I'm supposed to be doing that I neglected what I genuinely WANT to be doing. It's time to focus on balancing the two.

Treasures from this month's Rose Bowl flea market.

2009-04-12T22:35:00.000-07:00

I was proud of myself for having some self control today. I only bought 7 photos and 3 pieces of jewelry. :)

Bert and Jessie 1913

On back:

1944

Wanda, Laura, Aunt Jo, Ron.

On back:

Aug. 1938

F 7.9 1/25 sec.

6.30 B

#60

Wine Tasting in Santa Barbara.

2009-04-08T23:11:00.000-07:00

A beautiful day spent with my best girlfriends:

Our group grew louder and louder with every sip of wine.

Post-wine tasting picnic.

Post-picnic stroll.

The lovely Robyn.

Spider monkeys!

Vineyard dance party.

Girl talk.

☺

Improv!

2009-03-16T21:39:00.000-07:00

I have a great appreciation for the quick-witted.

Good job, Improv 101!

Upright Citizens Brigade Theatre

Scrapbook from the 1960s.

2009-03-11T22:46:00.000-07:00

Curiosity (NOT nosiness!) compelled me to buy this. :P

Postcards from the past: Part II

2009-03-09T21:51:00.000-07:00

The rest of the postcards I bought yesterday:

---

These range from 1908-1950.

Postcards from the past: Part I

2009-03-08T18:00:00.000-07:00

Today, I moseyed on over to the Rose Bowl flea market and went a little postcard-happy. Here are some of the gems I found. I'll post the other ones later - these were the more "romantic" of the bunch:

---

[The bottom of this postcard says: They had parted in anger and his joy, When he found her was without alloy]

These are from about 1908-1911 (according to the postmarks I could find). Pretty cool, huh. Romantic postcards from the early 1900s are my new favorite thing.

I want to see this film.

2009-03-07T19:48:00.000-08:00

I'm sorry, your connection was lost.

2009-03-05T23:29:00.000-08:00

I recently bought "I SAW YOU..." which is a collection of comics based on missed connections. Missed connections as in, "I saw you at the grocery store perusing the cereal aisle. We made eye contact and I couldn't stop thinking about you. You were wearing [insert article of clothing]...Want to hang out?" and so on and so forth.

I felt inclined to buy this book because for awhile now I have been thinking about the random interactions we have that sometimes end up leaving lasting impressions. A couple of my friends and I have also discussed this topic. Why don't you cross paths again? Why were you only meant to have a 5-minute conversation? Why do you even think about this person at all?

Wertz wrote, "I became intrigued with the concept of a subculture of people who feel they missed something great because they didn't have the courage to speak up. I found it even more peculiar that there were many people who think that strangers they spotted in a passing car or on the other side of the bus must surely be the loves of their lives."

I don't think its a "subculture of people" who have felt this way - I think ALL people at one time or another have been curious about a stranger who caught their eye. It's only normal to have momentary lapses into fairy tale/movie land, where some great love story can be born from a trivial interaction-turned-defining moment.

However, now I don't think those "missed connections" are really connections at all. They are just lust playing a joke on our heart strings - just figments of romantic imagination. I wanted to believe they were supposed to teach us some sort of profound lesson about not being afraid to take chances, but I feel like you take the chances you're meant to.

Your connection wasn't lost; you just dialed the wrong number. TRY AGAIN.

Art is fart. We all do it.

2009-03-02T23:55:00.000-08:00

Do you ever feel like any idea you come up with has already been done by someone else? I feel like everything has already been tackled, which is a bit frustrating. Then again, I guess the important thing is how you utilize an idea and make it your own...

Sometimes I feel like the art world doesn't have room for me, and I'm not even asking for a lot of space. Just give me a measly corner, and I'll be satisfied.

“What is the difference between exploring and being lost?”

2009-03-01T22:58:00.000-08:00

I felt like opening up this book tonight - I bought it a couple years ago, but hadn't perused it again until now.

In case you haven't heard of Dan Eldon: "[He] lived more in twenty-two years than most people do in eighty. He traveled through four continents, led expeditions across Africa, wrote a book, worked as a graphic desginer in New York, made a film, and became a respected photojournalist - all before his sudden, violent death in Somalia."

I had the opportunity to go through the actual journals (wearing museum gloves of course!). While I loved seeing all these pages so rich with imagery and writing, I honestly felt like I was violating his privacy. These journals were personal - when he was alive he only showed them to his closest family and friends. I'm sure when he made these journals he did not intend for someone like me, a complete stranger, to turn the pages one day. I guess his family thought he would have wanted them to be shared, and I'm glad they were.

Dan Eldon's story definitely inspires me, but it also makes me feel like a lazy coward. I truly admire the courage (and motivation) he had. Now I can't help but wonder when I'll stop being scared.

The travel bug is coming back...

2009-02-28T20:55:00.000-08:00

I'm going through receipts, ticket stubs, pamphlets, and business cards that I accumulated during my travels last year. Now I want so badly to jump on a plane and get the hell out of here. Sigh.

EH???

2009-02-23T21:57:00.001-08:00

Frustrated? Yeah, me too.

But I still believe things will just keep getting better.

Let's focus on the [+'s]:

Cranberry juice from the maintenance guy

Laughing, mostly to/at myself, at work

A home cooked meal and kahlua pie on the dining table when I got home

Receiving an epic email from one of my best friends from college

Eating mini empanadas and tapatio, while watching "The City" (yeah, it's so bad it's good)

Hmmm...Every other [+] had to do with food. Hells to the yes, that's how I roll.

♡?

2009-02-20T00:04:00.000-08:00

Don't worry, I'm not about to whine like the girl in the cartoon above. All I have to say is that I'm excited for when I finally meet someone who I can (and want to) really care about. Even if I get hurt, at least I would know that I'm capable of being emotionally attached to someone. Sure, there's always that fear of rejection, but I'm more scared about never having deep feelings for another person. Until the right guy comes along, I will continue to enjoy being 1 without a +1. ;)

That is all.

Happy [Belated] S.A.D. [Single's Awareness Day]

2009-02-15T16:41:00.000-08:00

Here's a Valentine's Day card from me to you:

Here's my Valentine (Sawyer, from LOST! Thanks Jess!)

And here's something just for fun:

Lyrics getting me through the week :)

2009-02-11T23:29:00.000-08:00

Without love, life has no great reward

Leaving us damaged or feeling so bored

Devoid of memories nothing to record

Wishing the ones that we adore loved us more

-Of Montreal's "Eros' entropic tundra"

Little darling, the smiles returning to the faces

Little darling, it seems like years since it's been here

Here comes the sun, here comes the sun

and I say it's all right

-The Beatles' "Here Comes the Sun"

Dancing at discos, eating cheese on toast

Yeah you make me merry, make me very very happy

But you obviously, you didnt want to stick around

So I learnt from you I can be alone

Yeah, I can watch a sunset on my own

-Kate Nash's "Merry Happy"

To make a mountain of your life is just a choice

But I never learned enough

To listen to the voice that told me

Always love, hate will get you every time

Always love, don't wait til the finish line

-Nada Surf's "Always Love"

We all try hard to live our lives in harmony

For fear of falling swiftly overboard

But life is both a major and minor key

Just open up the chord

-Travis' "Side"

F♥ck you, f♥ck you
F♥ck you very, very much
Cause your words don't translate
And it's getting quite late
So please don't stay in touch.

-Lily Allen's "F♥ck You"

Let It Rain.

2009-02-09T11:37:00.001-08:00

[This didn't happen today, though the rainy weather reminded me of when this DID happen when I was in Paris last year. It seemed appropriate to make a doodle out of it. The wind and rain broke TWO umbrellas - one from the Louvre and one with cats on it that I bought from a random shop!]

Super automatic pilot motor running down circles in the parking lot

Self-sustaining system bit her in the neck and quick and kissed her and took all she got
Did you come here to dance?
Whats in your glass?
Do you feel better?

Let it rain, Let it pour
Let it rain, Let it pour
Hallelujah, Hallelujah
Let it rain, Let it pour

Cruise-control distressed, her kind of cursed and kind of blessed her, engine running on the fume
Vision blue and blurry, falling angels in a flurry, spinning thru the empty room
Did you come here to dance?
Whats in your glass?
Do you feel better now?

Let it rain, Let it pour
Let it rain, Let it pour
Hallelujah, Hallelujah
Let it rain, Let it pour

Super automatic pilot motor running down circles in the parking lot
Self-sustaining system bit her in the neck and quick and kissed her and took all she got

Let it rain (Hallelujah), Let it pour
Let it rain (Hallelujah), Let it pour
Let it pour (Hallelujah)
Let it pour (Hallelujah)
Let it pour

-OK Go

Stumped.

2009-02-08T22:10:00.000-08:00

I often ask myself many questions, such as...

What's next?

What do I want to do with my life?

What do I need to do to achieve what I [eventually] decide I want to do with my life?

When will I be able to travel again?

Where's my next destination?

What's going to happen next on LOST? (I had to throw that in)

...and so on and so forth...

I am stumped, but rather than worrying, I am accepting the uncertainty and trying to keep a positive, open mind about everything. I'm actually excited for what's to come, though I have no idea with that may be.

☺

Oodles of Doodles.

2009-02-07T17:29:00.000-08:00

---

I drew "Confessions of a Twinkie" and "Confessions of a Single Girl" for one of the lower-division art classes in college. I recently dug these up, which made me realize that I would like to get back into making these simple ink drawings because it's sort of therapeutic for me. I know when I was making "Confessions of a Single Girl," I was able to laugh at myself and I actually felt better about being single.

I have a number of ideas running through my mind for different art projects. My main goal right now is to exercise my creative side more regularly. Of course I feel like ANY idea I come up with has already been tackled by someone else, which is frustrating, discouraging, and...not surprising. Nonetheless, I'd still like to believe there is room for me in the "art world" (whatever that means).

Aw.

2009-02-06T22:26:00.000-08:00

I've asked that question many a time. =P

Nerd/Tech Love.

2009-02-05T22:49:00.000-08:00

Hahaha...

[Comic from Tooth Paste for Dinner]

Need a lift...in life?

2009-02-04T23:24:00.000-08:00

Yeah, so do these people.

[The photo was from the shoot I did last weekend for my friend's dad's business.]

My VisualDNA!

2009-02-03T20:15:00.000-08:00

"Life is long if you know how to use it."

2009-02-02T13:27:00.000-08:00

"It is not that we have a short time to live, but that we waste a lot of it. Life is long enough, and a sufficiently generous amount has been given to us for the highest achievements if it were all well invested. But when it is wasted in heedless luxury and spent on no good activity, we are forced at last by death's final contraint to realize that it has passed away before we knew it was passing. So it is: we are not given a short life but we make it short, and we are not ill-supplied but wasteful of it...

Many are occupied by either pursuing other people's money or complaining about their own. Many pursue no fixed goal, but are tossed about in ever-changing designs by a fickleness which is shifting, inconstant and never satisfied with iteslf. Some have no aims at all for their life's course, but death takes them unawares as they yawn languidly - so much so that I cannot doubt the truth of that oracular remark of the greatest of poets: 'It is a small part of life we really live'...

You will find no one willing to share out his money; but to how many does each of us divide up his life! People are frugal in guarding their personal property; but as soon as it comes to squandering time they are most wasteful of the one thing in which it is right to be stingy...

You are living as if destined to live forever; your own frailty never occurs to you; you don't notice how much time has already passed, but squander it as though you had a full and overflowing supply - though all the while that very day which you are devoting to somebody or something may be your last. You act like mortals in all that you fear, and like immortals in all that you desire..."

-Seneca, On the Shortness of Life

Libby's World.

2009-02-01T01:17:00.000-08:00

The other night, I came upon a folder of comics I had drawn from 6th-8th grade. It was called "Libby's World," and the protagonist was a dorky girl who always seemed to make a fool out of herself and could never get the guy - a sort of "underdog" I suppose. It was a funny find, but also opened Pandora's box of nostalgia. I was so young when I started these drawings, and it was as if I was trying to convey feelings of inadequacy through them. Sure, those comics were from forever ago, but the feelings behind them can still easily apply today (if I let them).

If "Libby's World" was a reflection of how I felt years ago, then I will rewrite/re-draw the endings to those comic strips...simply because it's never too late to reinvent yourself. Libby will actually prevail this time around, instead of feeling embarrassed or sad - not even necessarily because she gets the guy or becomes Miss Popular. She will still be her silly self and may not get the guy, but she will embrace it and more importantly, be comfortable in her own skin.

Libby aside, all I know is that I want to do things differently this year, and I am more open to change than I ever have been before. I will continue to take baby steps to get to where I want to be, and learn from my tumbles.

Just for fun.

2009-01-28T13:54:00.001-08:00

Make your own!

Old School.

2009-01-27T22:37:00.000-08:00

I am in the process of organizing my photos and I came upon some scanned images from 2003. I thought I would share them with you because these seem to be some of the first images I ever took that were less snapshot-y. I guess these photos can represent the very beginning stages of my interest in and eventual love for photography.

Grab your balls, we're going bowling!

2009-01-26T20:41:00.000-08:00

Did you notice how bowling alleys always have the most random music videos?

MOST EXCELLENT.

Ben and Jess battling it out in the lanes last night.

What a beautiful day for a hike.

2009-01-25T17:25:00.000-08:00

Hiking > Gym

Guess what!

2009-01-25T00:36:00.000-08:00

No, not chicken butt.

It is Chinese New Year on Monday! :)

It's the Year of the Ox, just in case you were wondering.

I took this photo during the Chinese New Year festivities in Malaysia last year. My cousin had lion dancers come to his house! Oh how I wish I could have been there this year...

:)

2009-01-22T20:49:00.000-08:00

Here's a photo that will hopefully make you smile.

That is all.

Paige, my cousin's daughter. Singapore, January 2008.

Sunday Afternoon Shoot.

2009-01-19T15:57:00.001-08:00

Makeup by: Monica Llanes

Every time I visit San Diego...

2009-01-19T15:30:00.000-08:00

I want to move there.

Cute seals.

Mmm Indian food...

Homemade hats!

If you ever need to make a hat for a "hat party," go here!

Let's Just Dance.

2009-01-11T17:48:00.000-08:00

"Let's go dance tonight! Let's just - f*ck guys tonight - let's just stand in a circle around our shoes and our pocketbooks and let's just dance."

-Dane Cook

I was introduced to the concept of "going out" during my first year of college, and it did not turn out to be what I thought it would. For me, "going out" meant pretending to be a sorority girl so I could get into a frat party, and then 10 minutes later, walking back to the dorms by myself late at night because I was the only one who wanted to leave. It meant being a babysitter to drunk people (I guess that's what you get when you are the sober one). It meant taking all this time to get ready, freezing my butt off while walking to a party, and trying to have fun...only to realize that it wasn't worth it. I tried to make myself believe that I was actually having a good time; sometimes it worked and most times it didn't, though I kept going out because I thought that was what you were supposed to do when you were in college. 99% of the nights I went out during that year are all a blur because they weren't memorable to me, and I don't long for them at all. After freshman year, I rarely went to parties because I had no interest in them. By the end of college, I had traded in "going out with the girls" for "hanging out with the guys." Watching movies and basketball games on TV, or playing the Wii (and eventually Rock Band!) were more appealing.

I've been done with college for awhile, and I am finally more open to this "going out" business again because now, thanks to those who I can call "my people," it means something different. It does NOT mean worrying about getting ditched or feeling out of place (the latter pretty much sums up my first year of college). It means being my silly self with good friends who actually get me and are constantly making me laugh. It means having nights that are memorable, not because they are filled with drama, but because they are actually fun.

[The photo above was taken last night at my friend's birthday party. As you can see, my friends and I are a bunch of dorks.]

New Year's Resolutions?

2009-01-06T20:49:00.000-08:00

Yeah, um, I don't really have any. I usually write up a list every year, but I decided not to this time around. Instead, I'm going to have "New Week's Resolutions" because while I have long term goals, taking things week by week suits me better. Yes, I might ditch this idea by next week/month, but let's give it a try.

Even though it's almost the middle of the week, here are my "New Week's Resolutions" for the next few days:

Bring a lunch to work

Do not buy anything from Starbucks, unless it is for a friend

Finish putting together a photo book of last year's London/Paris trip

Read a little of one (or more) of the three books I started

Gather up more clothes to donate

Eat breakfast

Yep, not super profound or life-changing at the moment, but I'm taking baby steps. Don't judge. :)

Here are some more thoughts on New Year's resolutions from "Calvin and Hobbes" (I had forgotten how awesome that comic is! Thanks to Jalees for reminding me):

"Heck no. I'm fine just the way I am! Why should I change? In fact, I think it's high time the world started changing to suit ME! I don't see why I should do all the changing around here! If the new year requires resolutions, I say it's up to everyone else, not me! I don't need to improve. Everybody ELSE does!"

-Calvin, when Hobbes asked if he had any New Year's resolutions

Hmmm I'm now considering living my life according to "Calvin and Hobbes"...

Sunday night means...

2009-01-04T21:48:00.000-08:00

Eating banana cream pie, while watching season 2 of "Arrested Development."

Excellent.

2008 is SO last year.

2009-01-01T19:42:00.000-08:00

Last night was so much fun. What a great way to start the new year!

It's not a REAL party without snazzy party hats!

Yay for balloons!

Free champagne! Then again, the cover to get into the bar was $15...

While I'm excited about 2009, 2008 was definitely a memorable year and I feel as though I learned a lot. I was lucky enough to travel to Bali, Malaysia, Singapore, London, Paris, Japan, Korea, and Hawaii. I had the opportunity to reconnect with family in Southeast Asia, for which I am so grateful. I roamed around in a foreign country by myself for the first time (in Japan). After 4 months of job hunting and no income, I got my first job out of school, which has been a huge learning experience. I gained new friendships, maintained old ones, and learned from all of them. I spent more time with my sister than I ever had before, which was lovely (besides our petty bickering at times hehe)...

Overall, the pluses overshadowed the minuses, and I believe 2009 will be even better.

HAPPY NEW YEAR, EVERYONE!!

LACMA! and some rambling.

2008-12-30T19:34:00.001-08:00

The ladies and I went to LACMA to check out the Vanity Fair Portraits. 'Twas a lovely exhibition and I'm excited to do some experimental photo shoots in the coming months. If only I had a budget for styling, makeup, and fancy locations...Le sigh.

I'm still feeling positive about 2009, even though it's full of question marks - it's kind of odd, and I know it's temporary, but I'll try to hold onto it for as long as possible. It's easier to feel this way when you are surrounded by people with good energy. As each year passes, I hope that I maintain my current belief that things will just keep getting better, instead of freaking out about getting older. 22...26...30 is NOT OLD. 94 is old, and a man I met at that age said he was going through a "MID-life" crisis, so I guess this concept of "old" is just a state of mind.

I feel like people in their 20's and 30's can be in extremely different stages in their lives. One 28-year-old could be married with kids, while another is single, living with roommates, and partying all the time. When I was little, I had this silly idea in my head that I would graduate college by 21, establish a stable career (and meet a nice gentleman) by 24, be married by 25 or 26, and have a kid by 27 or 28. Then I got a little older, and now I think that idea is laughable for me, minus the graduating college thing. Don't get me wrong - that ideal situation could be a reality for some, and there's nothing wrong with that! All I know is that there is no real timeline for where you should be.

There's no "right" way to live your life. I guess just make sure you're actually living it, and embrace the freedom that comes with all of the uncertainty and question marks.

Turning point...point of no return?

2008-12-30T01:57:00.000-08:00

When I was out trying to help the economy with my mom today (a.k.a. shopping), I stumbled upon the coffee table-esque book, When They were 22: 100 Famous People at the Turning Point in Their Lives, by Brad Dunn. I decided to buy this seemingly inspirational book for a few reasons: 1) I don't have work this week, which gives me TOO MUCH free time to think...and then before you know it, I feel lost. Thus, maybe this book can distract me; 2) Last night, I found myself saying, "I'm already feeling jaded," which is just ridiculous; 3) I was intrigued by the idea that 22 could be the turning point in people's lives because I was beginning to think it was nothing more than a time of complete and utter confusion [I don't feel like I'm anywhere near this so-called "turning point"; I think I'm just doing 3 to 5-point turns right now - moving forward, braking, reversing etc.]; 4) The book was on super-sale, so if it is an epic fail, I only lost a few dollars.

In the introduction, Dunn wrote, "If you've been there, you'll remember what that age is like: filled with excitement and uncertainty, vague ambitions struggling to find definition. Endless possibilities line the horizon - enough to inspire you or to paralyze you with indecision." Hmmm yeah...sounds about right so far.

I, like many people, will most likely have a handful of turning points because I will ~~probably~~ most definitely change my mind many times in terms of what I want to do with my life. One moment I'm thinking of volunteering in Africa, the next I'm thinking about moving to Singapore, then I'm picturing myself in Hawaii, and so on and so forth. I will not settle for just one turning point because that makes it seem like a point of no return, as if Life is saying, "Okay, you had your turning point. Now go follow your path straight ahead." I can't commit to one path right now.

Speaking of paths and points and possibilities in life, I am strangely optimistic about 2009. As a believer of self-fulfilling prophecies, I will keep telling myself that it is going to be a GREAT year to increase the chances of that actually coming true. :) I don't know what next year will bring, but one of my turning points better be more exciting than me finding this book.

Christmas, and the day after.

2008-12-28T21:53:00.000-08:00

Christmas Day with the fam:

The table where everyone would soon stuff their faces.

After the meal, everyone was in a food coma...

The adorable Daniela.

The day after Christmas with the friends:

Dinner party.

Dance party!!

Merry Christmas (Eve), and Happy Holidays!

2008-12-24T18:35:00.000-08:00

Stay warm!

[Photo was taken in London, March 2008.]

Last night's show

2008-12-22T20:55:00.001-08:00

Tyler Hilton at the Troubadour.

Good show.

iGot an iPod.

2008-12-21T16:03:00.000-08:00

After 7 years of resisting to buy any sort of iPod/variation of an iPod, iNow have an iPod nano. Technically, iStill resisted buying it because my sister bought it for me. :) Thanks sis. Now when iWork out iCan listen to fun music that iActually like, instead of the crap that the gym plays and/or...people grunting as they pump zee iron.

iAm about to upload music to my new BRIGHT GREEN iPod nano, so I thought I would share my Top 25 Most Played Songs on my iTunes with you:

I'm kind of suprised at some of the songs that made the list...I must have been in some sort of phase haha.

Happy Holidays!

2008-12-19T21:47:00.001-08:00

I drew this for my co-workers hehe.

Augmented Reality

2008-12-19T21:21:00.001-08:00

Want your own virtual monster? Go here!

My co-workers and I had fun with it haha...

Thanks for showing this to me, Mark!

Aerial view close-ups

2008-12-18T21:55:00.000-08:00

"Winter Song" by Sara Bareilles and Ingrid Michaelson

2008-12-18T20:53:00.000-08:00

I thought this video was uber cute. :)

Dioramarific.

2008-12-17T21:52:00.001-08:00

I felt like making some photos look like plastic. The larger versions are more effective in terms of looking like dioramas, but you get the idea...

A year ago...and the year before that and the year before that and the year before that.

2008-12-16T20:10:00.000-08:00

It occurred to me that at this time a year ago, I was just finishing school and freaking out about it. I thought it would be interesting to read my journal from last year to reminisce about how I was feeling exactly a year ago. Then I came upon my journal from 2006...and 2005...and 2004....all with entries from mid-December, so now I'm going to share excerpts with you. Let's see if anything has changed in the past 4 years.

December 16, 2007:

I was starting to feel really anxious about being done with college, but let's face it - I was going to deal with this eventually. I'm just dealing with it 6 months earlier than I had originally planned. I need to stop worrying because that is not productive at all. If anything, it's counterproductive. My focus right now is work, my health, photography, family/friends, and preparing for the SE Asia trip!

I really want to work on ME right now. I'm still saddened by my journals from years ago. Maybe I should burn them....

I don't want to move back home. I'm tempted to move to Europe - how amazing would that be? SO unlikely, but a girl can dream, right?...

December 18, 2006:

I'm back at home...I've been working at Eddie Bauer. Sometimes I get really sick of it, but I remind myself that I need to make money...I REALLY need to. I can't imagine working in retail as a career. It's so un-creative to me.

Sadie and Dana had their holiday dinner party, which was lovely. Good food, good company. I love my friends...

I talked to my semi-crush on AIM. Our conversations are retarded...maybe because they are ONLINE...

December 17, 2005:

I'm on my way to Hong Kong right now. After a short stop in Korea, we'll be there in about 3 hours. Maybe this will be a nice break, but I'm bummed I won't see my friends a lot.

Speaking of friends, [insert crush's name here] was supposed to call me yesterday to hang out. I ended up calling him and he said he was going to sleep. At least I know for sure that I shouldn't care about him. People don't have common courtesy anymore, especially guys. He called me on Thursday night saying, "I'll call you tomorrow because I want to see you." Yeah, apparently not. Bastard...

Last night was a big hint that: 1) He's just not that in to me 2) He needs to grow up 3) He's not worth my time. He made me feel stupid...

Basically, all guys my age are the same - immature, superficial, commitment-phobic. Hell, the majority of older guys are equally stupid. I sound so bitter right now...

I don't need a boy.

December 15, 2004:

I feel like people sometimes think I am naive because I don't do certain things, like drink or smoke. I'm not naive, I just choose not to do things. Then again, so what if people think I'm naive. I know I'm not...

Since when did I put up a wall so much? I need to be more open and be myself...Another thing - I need to accept change. I need to stop lingering on how people used to be...

I think I'm getting sick of conversations about alcohol, parties, and hook-ups. Let's talk about something else, kids. There HAS to be more to talk about...

Haha wow. That was quite the power walk down memory lane. Well, at least a few things have changed: I'm definitely a lot more comfortable in my own skin than I was in 2004 (background info: that was my first year of college at a school I really didn't like...at that time at least); I don't work at Eddie Bauer anymore (*jumps for joy*); and I don't let boys make me feel as stupid as I did in 2005. As for other things...I'm still dreaming of living in a different continent, I'm still working on not putting up a wall, and my focus is still "work, my health, photography, family/friends."

That is all for now. (:

Good guys.

2008-12-15T22:22:00.000-08:00

As much as I have complained about guys and have said that they are all jerks, I know there are really good ones out there. I'm friends with some of them. And besides some of my best male friends, I have met a few guys who each have certain qualities that I would want in a significant other. I am drawn to the wit of one, the intellect of another, the laid back nature of another, and so on and so forth...

While I have yet to meet the right person for me, I thank you good guys out there for restoring my faith in the male race [at least for the time being...until some jerk comes along and shatters it]. Just kidding...sort of. :P

[NOTE: I took the photo above during my trip to Japan.]

"Dear Santa Claus..."

2008-12-14T22:44:00.000-08:00

I would just like to say that I am not a fan of giving out/receiving "wish lists" to/from people, whether it's for a Christmas present or a birthday gift. It was acceptable when you were little and asking Santa Claus for a pony/scooter/skip-it/etc., but we should be past that now. I understand if you tell your significant other or a close family member what you want (if they ask)...or if you're getting married and are registered at some store. Otherwise, if a person hasn't asked you, "What do you want?" and you just tell them, I think it's tacky.

If you give me a "wish list" without me asking for one, I'm just going to find you annoying. Whatever happened to the concept, "It's the thought that counts?"

All right, that was my rant. Now enjoy a bizarre, un-PC photo:

w00t w00t.

The Fairmont Kea Lani

2008-12-11T21:57:00.001-08:00

When I was in Hawaii, my sis and I went to Maui for the day, and I took some promo shots for The Fairmont Kea Lani. That hotel is absolutely beautiful...

More reasons to move to Hawaii:

2008-12-10T22:00:00.001-08:00

[The locations: Oahu and Maui.

In the photos: My sister, Audrey Cleo.]

One reason why I want to move to Hawaii:

2008-12-09T23:05:00.000-08:00

...

'Nuff said.

[More reasons to come... ;)]

Aloha.

2008-12-04T21:58:00.000-08:00

I'm going to Hawaii for the weekend.

All my money goes to random trips, but I think it's worth it. I can't help it if I always want to get away. It's getting quite problematic for my checking account though :P.

Anyways, I'll post photos when I get back. I was going to bring my Diana with me, but I decided against it because I'm already bringing two cameras, and I think that's enough haha.

Pink tights on Black Friday.

2008-11-28T18:46:00.000-08:00

It's definitely scarf weather.

2008-11-26T18:32:00.000-08:00

Brrr...

Cameras I'm excited to experiment with...

2008-11-25T14:34:00.000-08:00

Leica R4. My late grandfather passed it down to my mom, who let me have it when I showed interested in photography.

I just bought this Diana camera. It was kind of an impulse purchase, but whatever haha.

I bought this little toy camera from the Tokyo Metropolitan Museum of Photography. It was so cute, I just had to have it (the museum was awesome by the way).

I bought this pop cam just for fun awhile back. I haven't really used it...

Fun times shall be had.

Spur-of-the-moment, just-for-fun shoot.

2008-11-24T22:52:00.000-08:00

Here are some photos of my friends, Jess and Jeanette, from yesterday (they are twins!). We didn't have a lot of time to shoot because it gets dark so early now, but it was still fun :) .

Check out [one of] the very talented makeup artists: Alessandra Avellanet

I'm ready to jump back into photography!

2008-11-23T19:20:00.000-08:00

I missed it...and making art in general. Expect to see a lot more art/photo-filled blog entries in the upcoming months. (:

Here are some snapshots from a (great) show I went to last week:

Rachael Yamagata (!!)

Lenka (!)

A [+] and a [-].

2008-11-05T22:16:00.000-08:00

[+]: Obama getting elected last night!!! What a relief. We finally got it right. :)

[-]: Prop 8 passing. C'mon people, seriously? SERIOUSLY? I'm deeply disappointed in the 52% of my fellow Californian voters who supported it.

A few photos from Korea.

2008-10-25T21:13:00.000-07:00

Signage!

Yummy food!

War Museum.

World Cup Stadium.

FUN TIMES!

A few photos from Tokyo.

2008-10-12T06:30:00.000-07:00

Tokyo was AMAZING!! Here are a few pics from the trip:

View from the hotel room (in Shibuya).

Imperial Palace.

Shibuya.

Koishikawa Korakuen.

Now I'm in Seoul (just flew in this afternoon), and ready to explore this city for the next few days.

There are A LOT more photos to come! (:

The King Mixers

2008-10-05T14:00:00.000-07:00

Check out The King Mixers!

They were so much fun.

Note to self: get over the crush.

2008-10-03T20:44:00.000-07:00

Crushes are only fun when your crush actually acknowledges you. When he ignores you--not once, but TWICE--you just feel dumb. And then you feel lame for letting it get to you because in reality, it's not even a big deal.

That is all I have to say about that...for now.

[I took the photo in San Francisco, circa May 2007.]

Birthday Weekend.

2008-09-28T22:59:00.001-07:00

The birthday girls.

Dessert and tea. Mmmmm.

The ladies. We're silly.

Cranium (and bright marshmallows). Heehee.

Chelsea.

2008-09-16T13:32:00.000-07:00

Over the weekend, I did a little shoot with one of my best friends, Chels.

Verona Grove @ The Mint

2008-09-15T23:00:00.001-07:00

Fun boys from Wisconsin. =P

Check out Verona Grove!

My Sister.

2008-09-09T00:06:00.000-07:00

Host | Producer | Writer

Audrey Cleo's MySpace

[I took these photos over Labor Day weekend.]

Thoughts.

2008-09-07T20:41:00.000-07:00

When a relationship, whether it is romantic or platonic, begins to bring out the bad in people, it is time to re-evaluate it.

As people grow and change, it is only normal for bonds to change as well...and that could result in a need for more distance rather than closeness. Sometimes people's personalities are no longer as compatible as they once were, and it's not necessarily anyone's fault. There's a reason that you become/stay close with certain people, while others remain as more of acquaintances or superficial friends. You can't be friends with everyone (and you don't always stay friends with ALL the people you currently consider friends)--that's the truth. Maybe that's pessimistic, but to me, it's realistic.

I know of some people who don't bring out the best in me, and I probably don't bring out the best in them either, but none of us are bad people. We just won't be BEST friends, and that's fine. Maybe we won't end up being friends at all, and that's fine too (though it may be upsetting at first).

Basically, I'm learning to accept that as friends gradually change/mature/grow individually, they can gradually grow apart from each other, regardless of their history or how close they once were.

Travel bug.

2008-08-26T21:31:00.000-07:00

I want to travel so badly right now...but I can't. I thought graduating early and traveling for a month-and-a-half would cure my travel bug, but it only made it worse. 6 months later (I can't believe it's been that long!) and I'm itching to leave the country again. UGH. =/

[I took the photo above during my flight to Kuching, Malaysia (I think).]

I can be alone. Yeah.

2008-08-25T21:07:00.000-07:00

i can be alone

yeah
i can watch a sunset
on my own
i can be alone
yeah
i can watch a sunset
on my own
i can be alone
i can watch a sunset
on my own
i can be alone
yeah
i can watch a sunset
on my own
i can be alone
yeah
i can watch a sunset
on my own
i can be alone
i can watch a sunset
on my own
--Kate Nash

Word.

[The photo was from my trip to Bali earlier this year.]

I'm clumsy.

2008-08-23T21:50:00.000-07:00

I decided that tripping/falling in front of strangers is a lot less embarrassing when you are with a friend, rather than when you are by yourself.

Today I tripped on my way to a parking lot, and I wish I had someone with me so I could laugh with him or her about it. Instead, I had to keep walking by myself and pretend no one saw me trip (though they definitely did)...and pretend that it didn't even happen. It's just not as fun.

Then again, when I tripped (and bruised my knee) running UP the stairs at school a couple years ago, I didn't mind not having a friend with me because there weren't aaany strangers around to see how uncoordinated I am.

Last year, when I fell down some steps at a club in Vegas and landed on not one, but two, random men (cuz, well, I just kept falling), I was glad to have my girlfriends there to laugh about it with me. I felt like less of an idiot, even after random people asked me if I was okay...even after a security guard came over and I thought I was going to get kicked out. My fall, which broke some skin and left me with a bruise, wasn't due to alcohol--it was due to my own clumsiness.

Last weekend, I fell hardcore style at the beach. I was playing frisbee with my friends and a golden retriever, which was running at full speed to catch a tennis ball, knocked me over. I yelped like a child, and just sat there on the sand until my friend came and helped me up. It was hilarious. However, my ankle was actually aching the rest of the day, which was NOT hilarious.

I almost fell at work the other day when I was wearing my sweet cowboy boots...Cowboy boots that have NO TRACTION. I almost ate shit when I was walking past a conference room full of people. If I had fallen, I really would have wanted someone with me to laugh about it. Everyone in that meeting would have seen me because the wall surrounding the room is made of glass. Next time I wear those boots, I'm going to make sure I have a friend with me, so I can maybe drag him or her down with me...or you know, so I have some moral support and/or assistance getting up off the ground. =)

"You said I must eat so many lemons cuz I am so bitter."

2008-08-21T22:51:00.000-07:00

This week has been quite sour. Maybe there's something in the air that is causing heightened levels of bad energy. Maybe it's all in my head. Whatever it is, I hope it's gone by tomorrow. I'm so ~~glad~~ ~~thrilled~~ ecstatic tomorrow is Friday.

I realized today that I'm either a really bad judge of character or I'm a naive optimist who wants to assume the best in people. I want to assume that people I meet are actually as genuine and good-natured as they seem on the surface (or as I'm hoping they are haha). It's all rubbish. Maybe from now on I will simply assume everyone sucks, and when they don't, I will be pleasantly surprised. =)

I just really feel like I'm back in junior high sometimes because of the immature way people act, but then I realize I'm just in the "real world," where everyone's scrambling to get ahead and/or save their own ass and/or put other people down to make themselves feel better.

It's all very frustrating to me, and I know things won't change. Thus, I need to learn how to deal with it better and not let it get to me so much...or else my head is going to explode.

What a pleasant way to end this entry.

On average, bad moods last for about 12 minutes...

2008-08-18T22:21:00.000-07:00

I guess my bad mood was above average. Go me...?

So, I can be a perfectionist when it comes to certain things and if I make a mistake, it can totally put a damper on the rest of my day, even if I know it wasn't entirely my fault...and even if I know it's not a big deal in the large scheme of things. It sucks even more when it seems like one "oops" leads to a "damnit!" which leads to a "f-kin' a!" as though life finds enjoyment in tripping you with it's twisted sense of humor. Today was just "one of those days" when everything seems crappier than it really is. In reality, the day wasn't bad--my mood just was because I think too much, and I felt like being a lingerer of things not worth my lingering. Good thing the day is over. I plan to sleep off the bad energy.

K that is all for now.

[The photo above, which I took in Santa Barbara earlier this month, is currently my desktop background. It relaxes me...and makes me want to escape (just a little bit).]

Someone's stealing my identity.

2008-08-07T21:39:00.000-07:00

Once upon a time, I got bored and googled my name. I ended up finding a girl with my name and same birthday, except she was born one year later. Isn't that creepy? The End.

Kitchen Works Productions

2008-07-27T23:43:00.000-07:00

http://www.myspace.com/thekitchen